Speak So Your Marriage Problems Are Eased, Not Intensified

How long have you been struggling to solve marriage problems that have been hindering your happiness? More importantly, how much longer do you think you have until things completely fall apart and divorce is the only way out? If you are getting near the point of total desperation to fix your relationship, it is time to consider the way in which you are trying to communicate with one another.

The biggest differential between couples that are able to salvage a difficult marriage and those that end up in divorce often comes down to communication. While every couple believes they are communicating in an open and honest manner, they are in fact coming at one another in a very defensive, accusatory manner which puts the other up in arms instead of at ease.

Chances are you do the same thing on a regular basis without even realizing it! So many people say they just don’t understand why their spouse won’t open up and talk to them. What they don’t realize is that they are shutting down that possibility by the tone of their voice or their choice of words when they initiate the conversation.

The issue is likely the huge rush of raw emotion that lies just behind every conversation you have with your spouse. This is an unavoidable fact of marital tension, but you have to recognize its existence before you can move beyond it. If you want to get through to your spouse, you will need to adopt new methods of opening conversations.

First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don’t approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.

Next, you want to control your tone of voice so that it does not even hint that you may be angry with them or that you blame them for something that is going on. The wrong tone can shut down any chance of your spouse really listening to you before you even get to what you really want to say.

Finally, write down what you want to say ahead of time and carefully select every single word so that you do not state things in an accusatory way. Say whatever you want to say but make it about your feelings, thoughts, desires, and needs. If you can state how much you still love them it may help as well.

This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.

I think you’ll find this article helpful too, if you did, I reckon you’ll want to read this as well: Marriage Problems or How To Catch Cheating or Fix Marriage Problems